“Helicopter” and “snowplow” parenting has become part of modern vernacular largely due to the prevalence. These days, parents are spending more time with their children than previous generations, and were doing so even before the pandemic lockdowns propelled them into the roles of play pals and homework buddies.
Just like most everything else in the world, there is a balance. Too much on one side or the other and problems arise. Disengaged parents raise children who feel unappreciated, and recent research coming out of the Stanford Graduate School of Education is showing too much parental participation can undermine childrens’ natural and healthy autonomy in performing tasks. In other words, parents need to be cognizant and highly selective about teachable moments. To reiterate: engaged parenting has been shown to help children build cognitive and emotional skills. Too engaged, and that positivity can go out the window. Jelena Obradović, associate professor at Stanford Graduate School of Education published a study in the Journal of Family Psychology that asserts too much parental direction can at times be counterproductive. Researchers observed parents’ behavior when kindergarten-age children were engaged in playing, cleaning up toys, learning a new game and discussing a problem in the study. “The children of parents who more often stepped in to provide instructions, corrections or suggestions or to ask questions – despite the children being appropriately on task – displayed more difficulty regulating their behavior and emotions at other times,” according to the Stanford press release. “These children also performed worse on tasks that measured delayed gratification and other executive functions, skills associated with impulse control and the ability to shift between competing demands for their attention.” Obradović and her co-authors found that the phenomenon occurs across the socioeconomic spectrum. Obradović, who also directs the Stanford Project on Adaptation and Resilience in Kids, noted that parents have been conditioned to involve themselves with the activities of their children, even when kids are on-task and doing what they are asked to do. “But too much direct engagement can come at a cost to kids’ abilities to control their own attention, behavior and emotions. When parents let kids take the lead in their interactions, children practice self-regulation skills and build independence,” she said. Indeed, parents must walk that tight-rope between disengaged and too engaged. Finding that sweet spot: being around when needed, but not hovering over them is something we should strive to do. As Obradović pointed-out, the purpose of the study was not to be critical of parents, but rather to be aware that teachable moments have their place and it can be beneficial to allow the child to take responsibility for some of their learning and tasks. Self-assessment is necessary, and the understanding generated from this study will help parents navigate the intricacies of the pandemic and how much direct involvement they should have with their children’s needs. “As stressful as this time is, try to find opportunities to let them take the lead,” Obradović said. Comments are closed.
|
AuthorDr. Angela Carol MD,CCFP,FCFP is a family physician focused on treating chronic illnesses. Archives
May 2022
Categories |