I get goosebumps when I consider some of the magnificent performances of history. Scenes pop up in my mind like I watched them yesterday. I reflect on my life and how I believe about certain things, and can almost always trace my early introduction to various topics to the arts.
In the immortal words of Leo Tolstoy: “[Art] is a means of union among men, joining them together in the same feelings, and indispensable for the life and progress toward well-being of individuals and of humanity.” Now, there is an effort in Ontario to bring professional performing artists to schools, to allow children of every socioeconomic level an introduction to a different form of artistic expression. "There's a growing awareness of how the arts can support even things like literacy and numeracy and topics like social justice and even environmental awareness," Tim Whalley, executive director of Prologue to the Performing Arts, told CBC's Our Toronto. Prologue to the Performing Arts is a nonprofit organization on a mission to expose as many students as possible across Ontario to the performing arts – “no matter what community or neighbourhood they come from.” The organization was launched in the 1960s and has been bringing equal access to the performing arts ever since. In keeping with that goal, actress Leslie McCurdy recently performed a one-woman play for students at Dr Marion Hilliard Senior Public School in the Malvern neighbourhood. Called Things my Fore-Sisters Saw, the play introduces audiences to the stories of four notable black Canadian women who affected social change. McCurdy explained to students that, as a visible minority, she did not often feel like she fit in while growing up in Canada. Through education about her history, her people’s history and history in general, she began to “feel more rooted and grounded and like I was part of the Canadian mosaic.” There is unifying power in stories and in the way that performing arts can share those stories. McCurdy said she hopes that by sharing her background and performances in schools across Canada she can help students who feel alienated understand that they are not alone. It is a more personalized mode of learning that impacts students on an emotional level, of which textbooks could not even come close. Prologue to the Performing Arts reaches over half a million young Canadians from over 2,000 performances per year. “Helicopter” and “snowplow” parenting has become part of modern vernacular largely due to the prevalence. These days, parents are spending more time with their children than previous generations, and were doing so even before the pandemic lockdowns propelled them into the roles of play pals and homework buddies.
Just like most everything else in the world, there is a balance. Too much on one side or the other and problems arise. Disengaged parents raise children who feel unappreciated, and recent research coming out of the Stanford Graduate School of Education is showing too much parental participation can undermine childrens’ natural and healthy autonomy in performing tasks. In other words, parents need to be cognizant and highly selective about teachable moments. To reiterate: engaged parenting has been shown to help children build cognitive and emotional skills. Too engaged, and that positivity can go out the window. Jelena Obradović, associate professor at Stanford Graduate School of Education published a study in the Journal of Family Psychology that asserts too much parental direction can at times be counterproductive. Researchers observed parents’ behavior when kindergarten-age children were engaged in playing, cleaning up toys, learning a new game and discussing a problem in the study. “The children of parents who more often stepped in to provide instructions, corrections or suggestions or to ask questions – despite the children being appropriately on task – displayed more difficulty regulating their behavior and emotions at other times,” according to the Stanford press release. “These children also performed worse on tasks that measured delayed gratification and other executive functions, skills associated with impulse control and the ability to shift between competing demands for their attention.” Obradović and her co-authors found that the phenomenon occurs across the socioeconomic spectrum. Obradović, who also directs the Stanford Project on Adaptation and Resilience in Kids, noted that parents have been conditioned to involve themselves with the activities of their children, even when kids are on-task and doing what they are asked to do. “But too much direct engagement can come at a cost to kids’ abilities to control their own attention, behavior and emotions. When parents let kids take the lead in their interactions, children practice self-regulation skills and build independence,” she said. Indeed, parents must walk that tight-rope between disengaged and too engaged. Finding that sweet spot: being around when needed, but not hovering over them is something we should strive to do. As Obradović pointed-out, the purpose of the study was not to be critical of parents, but rather to be aware that teachable moments have their place and it can be beneficial to allow the child to take responsibility for some of their learning and tasks. Self-assessment is necessary, and the understanding generated from this study will help parents navigate the intricacies of the pandemic and how much direct involvement they should have with their children’s needs. “As stressful as this time is, try to find opportunities to let them take the lead,” Obradović said. Parenting is one of the most important jobs a person can ever have. To raise a child, one of the next generation to become stewards of the world, is a tremendous responsibility.
We often discuss educating children for academic purposes and making them adept at different skills, but what about teaching kids the importance of being good to one another and to the earth? In today’s highly technological world, it sometimes feels like we are forgetting the human element – the part that binds us together. Maybe in light of all the technology, teaching children how to be kinder should have greater emphasis. Teaching generosity has become an increasingly important and more widely discussed topic among parents and educators, particularly around the holidays. Just like many things in life, the process of learning generosity has depth and breadth that goes beyond textbook lessons. The real classroom of generosity is ultimately in the home. Children model their parents. To raise good human beings, you must be a good human being, according to a recent blog from the Center For Parenting Education. Do you want your kids to learn the concept of sharing? Teach them that sharing is important and encourage them to share toys or break a piece of cake into smaller pieces so their friend can have some. These little lessons learned early can help mold a child into a generous adult. Also, effectively raising a kind hearted child means some introspection is needed. Kids model what they see, what they experience in their homes. Do they see you helping neighbors? Do you show the same kindness to others that you would like to see in your child? Do you donate to charity or go through your closets to find items to take to the local thrift store? Encouraging your child to participate in these activities with you will certainly make an impression. “Often your children are unaware when you write checks for charity or they do not see you when you run an errand for an infirm neighbor or cook a double batch of dinner for a struggling family. Let them know when you perform acts of kindness,” according to the blog. Take a moment after a volunteer effort or donating to explain to your child how you feel from helping others. Does a generous act make you feel kind? Helpful? Good? Tell your child. Create opportunities for your children to help others and praise them for their hard work. Encouragement goes a long way in helping to mold young minds. My family motto is to give back more than you take in every way. Through kindness, sharing and through every contribution you make in all aspects of your life. There is a bridge between potential and talent and that bridge is composed of support and encouragement. Many parents begin to look for signs of giftedness even before their children can walk, it does appear to be human nature. The age range for gifts to become apparent extends from around six years old all the way to the late teenage years. Every child is a miracle, a unique genetic culmination of atoms and synapses and they can develop at different rates. “About 99 percent of your body is made up of atoms of hydrogen, carbon, nitrogen and oxygen. You also contain much smaller amounts of the other elements that are essential for life… The hydrogen atoms in you were produced in the big bang, and the carbon nitrogen and oxygen atoms were made in burning stars,” according to an article titled “The particle physics of you”. Some people are simply born with gifts, some are highly capable in one area or in several areas, including both intellectually and creatively. Recognizing that and helping children reach their full potential is an important job for parents and educators. “Gifted children become talented when you support and encourage them to use their natural gifts to learn, concentrate and practise,” according to a website specializing in parenting. A number of factors can influence if a gifted child’s ability can become a talent, including family values, educational opportunities, personality, motivation, health and even luck. “Generally, by late primary school age or the teenage years, a gifted and talented child will be achieving at a very high level in one or more areas,” according to the parenting article. Your child’s gifts can be in a number of different areas, including: academic learning, leadership, social issues, technology, the arts, the ability to make friends, business skills, and physical skills like sports or dancing. Advanced developmental skills can be spotted in a variety of ways, including if your child naturally relates better to older children rather than children their own age, the ability to read at an early age, or even exhibiting advanced athletic ability. While learning certain things can come easily to gifted children, they also often require support in other areas. For example, they may become easily bored with coursework if they are not properly challenged, may have difficulty relating to children their age and might have difficulty following strict rules if they excel at developing new ideas. “Families of gifted children need to help them to understand others, manage challenges and learn life skills. Your family is a safe and secure place where your child is accepted and loved for who they are,” according to the article. |
AuthorDr. Angela Carol MD,CCFP,FCFP is a family physician focused on treating chronic illnesses. Archives
May 2022
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